Cat Ipsum

Meow meow mama my slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor licks paws, then cats take over the world and bite nose of your human you call this cat food. Groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep bite the neighbor’s bratty kid so sitting in a box fall asleep upside-down so i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk. Chase laser sit in a box for hours knock over christmas tree but spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch or slap kitten brother with paw but if it fits, i sits sitting in a box. Fooled again thinking the dog likes me groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked. Rub against owner because nose is wet. Please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it’s cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy’s leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back inside gnaw the corn cob this human feeds me, i should be a god for kitty scratches couch bad kitty jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!. Stretch out on bed ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside for lick butt, for try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall trip owner up in kitchen i want food and attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim so cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything. All of a sudden cat goes crazy. Car rides are evil miaow then turn around and show you my bum walk on a keyboard bawl under human beds lick arm hair yet scream at teh bath i will ruin the couch with my claws. Hate dogs find something else more interesting skid on floor, crash into wall but go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway, for find something else more interesting, and pee in the shoe jump on fridge. Miaow then turn around and show you my bum. Meow to be let in sniff all the things mess up all the toilet paper and eat the fat cats food. Toy mouse squeak roll over kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute?. Kitty kitty bite nose of your human, jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water so you’re just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy? and open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow!, and cats go for world domination. Ears back wide eyed. Playing with balls of wool. Russian blue you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me yet instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet for woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now. Eat the fat cats food nyaa nyaa for ha ha, you’re funny i’ll kill you last white cat sleeps on a black shirt catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds. Eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! and attack like a vicious monster but cats go for world domination or kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute? jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans cry louder at reflection. Woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now meeeeouw. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish enslave the hooman. Leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! russian blue but hiiiiiiiiii feed me now lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard my slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor. Cat snacks have secret plans.